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What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

(1906—1989)

U.S. humorous writer

Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.

Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children.

U.S. cartoonist, "Dilbert"

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocketlaunchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I  […]

(1876—1941)

U.S. short story writer

No one asked you to be a writer.

Oh! the good old days when I was so unhappy!

(354—430), religious philosopher

Give me chastity and self-restraint, but do not give it yet.

(354—430), religious philosopher

The world is a book, and those who do not travel, read only a page.

(1920—2000)

U.S. writerperformer

Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.