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Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.

A pessimist is someone who, if he is in the bath, will not get out to answer the phone.

(1852—1936) in letter to Teddy Roosevelt, 1917

God forbid that I should go to any heaven in which there are no horses.

(1977)

The rat race isn't so bad if you're a big cheese.

(1915—1996)

U.S. novelist, A Talent For Loving, 1961

Cheese. The adult form of milk.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

(1879—1927)

U.S. minister, in The Gentle Reader

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.

(1880—1964), Irish playwright

The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.