M

(1878—1937)

U.S. poet

One of the most important things to remember about infant care is never change diapers in midstream.

(1878—1937)

U.S. poet and humorist

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

(1878—1937)

U.S. poet and humorist

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

(1878—1937)

U.S. poethumorist

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

(1878—1937)

U.S. poethumorist

If you get gloomy, just take an hour off and sit and think how much better this world is than hell. Of course, it won't cheer you up much if you expect to go there.

(1878—1937)

U.S. poethumorist

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.

(1878—1937)

U.S. poethumorist

We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

(1878—1937), "Archy Says"

So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.

(1878—1937), "Frustration"

Life is like a scrambled egg.

(1873—1931)

U.S. politician

The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit.