T

(1835—1910)

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

(1835—1910)

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

(1835—1910)

We ought never to do wrong when people are looking.

(1835—1910)

What a man misses most in heaven is company.

(1835—1910)

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without women? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

(1835—1910)

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

(1835—1910)

When in doubt, tell the truth.

(1835—1910)

When you cannot get a compliment by any other way pay yourself one.

(1835—1910) (but also attributed to Charles Townsend Copeland)

To eat is human; to digest, divine.

(1835—1910), "Concerning the Jews"

All that I care to know is that a man is a human being--that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.