W

U.S. comedian

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

U.S. comedian

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Death is no excuse for procrastination.

(1897 — 1975), playwright

Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.

(1949--)

U.S. singer

Maybe there's no devil; it's just God when He's drunk.

U.S. singer

I don't have a drink problem except when I can't get one.

Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public.

U.S. cartoonist, "Ziggy"

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

(1882—1941)

British author

I read the book of Job last night--I don't think God comes out well in it.

(1819—1892)

U.S. poet

The Americans, like the English, probably make love worse than any other race.